First, some definitions:
CATASTROPHE: An event causing great and often sudden damage or suffering; a disaster. Some might say the death of the matriarch is a personal catastrophe. I'd say that about my mother. But, because my vanity is in direct conflict with my altruism, I'm torn between wanting my death to be an easy transition for my children and wishing they'd never get over it.
MINOR DISAPPOINTMENT: How you feel when you Google "Catastrophe" and get page after page after page about the British sitcom you've never seen and don't know if you wanna.
Catastrophes are big enough I'm not good at joking about them at blog length, whereas minor disappointments are my emotional staff of life, that is, like artisan bread without the calories, unless you stress eat, which I do, so never mind.
Anyway, I was hoping a cannabis strain would some day be invented and named after me. I went as far as buying some domain names and paying rent on TheLestrina.org, TheLestrina.net, TheLestrina.com, TheLestrina.biz, and TheLestrina.info for three years. My duties were crucial and limited to securing those websites, so I had nothing to do with, what some might call the easier tasks around cultivation, invention, patenting, and trademarking a new strain. For several reasons I won't get into here (Big Cannabis), that second part didn't happen. Since I already have, like, 2.5 billion domain names reserved for projects I hope to accomplish before The Catastrophe, I had to let go of TheLestrina.org, TheLestrina.net, TheLestrina.com, TheLestrina.biz, and TheLestrina.info sites.
Instead of being immortalized in cannabis, I turned my dream of being the light that brought joy onto others into a new salad dressing. This isn't really that bad as I don't use cannabis but I do dress salads. Here's the recipe for my invention. I hope you'll agree that, even if it doesn't get you high, it's delicious on Salad Niçoise.
Lestrina's Lemon Fennel Dressing
1/4 tsp fennel pollen
1/2 tsp dried scallion
1/2 taps dried parsley
Juice and zest from one Meyer lemon (about Tbsp less than 1/4 cup ish)
1/4 cup good EVOO olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste (Timur berry pepper is my preferred pepper, but you can use Voatsiperifery. I guess you could use black, but I through away that mill once I discovered the Timur and Voatsiperifery)
Zest and juice lemon.
Add olive oil and stir briskly with fork.
Add dried scallion and parsley and stir.
Add fennel pollen and stir.
Taste and add more lemon if not tart enough or more evoo if too tart.
Allow to rest for 10-20 minutes to let the dried scallion soften and serve.